what can I say….

love in gold and silver

I did this last night, like I used to, as a way to clear my head and subconsciously express my emotions, thoughts and inner states. With my personal, social and work lives taking turns in every possible direction I cannot help but feel dizzy (in a very emotional sense). It sounds ridiculous but I do have so much love to give, so much love for the world, so much love for life and its mysterious ways… In a way I feel aware of everything all the time… Something which causes my mind to overload on a regular basis. But that’s fine, because it is those times that I come up with the most interesting concepts………

Anyway…

The last 3 posts were in fact answers to the three questions written on my feedback form from our formative assessment about a month ago. I was told to take some time and work on a statement, so I decided to take these questions as challenges… hence the writing.

I do understand that perhaps I can shorten them.. considerably… but what can I do when it feels like there’s so much to say? It’s like as soon as such topics arise people just nod and look away. A constant “yes I’m aware of this but I choose not to engage.” WHY? Even when talking to the tutors about my idea, which I have done over and over again since the start of the academic year, it feels like each time I’m talking to a wall – no response, no thought, no nothing. Do they not see that what I’m exploring are universal concepts?! Do they not have their own opinions on the matter?! I refuse to believe that they haven’t thought about such things at some point or another.

I’m tired of wondering. I’m tired of thinking. This is what it is. These writings are a small fraction of everything I’ve got going on in my head, and it will be a miracle when I finish my statement. I don’t know how to stress the importance I believe this has – mutual understandingIn a way I end up taking everyone’s position on love, unity and cooperation for granted… am I just a naive dreamer hoping for a brighter future? Or am I one of these people, whose light is constantly smothered by the commercial bullsh*t of “society”.

This, whatever it is, that we all live in is not a “society”. It’s more like a machine designed to swallow up creative, thinking individuals and spit our mindless conformist consumers… it’s an endless struggle… until one remembers that they are not subjected to this system, that they are a building block that could be a part of something infinitely better.

This way of thinking, “someone else will do it”, isn’t working. It never has. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” No more excuses…

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